| < retrospect: 4 jul >


  ...of the moment Jessica blogs about almost drowning with me in the post-fireworks deluge on the Charles. The screaming that started when the storm swept will stick with me...
"Who the hell decided to call them 'facial tattoos' and not 'everlasting jobstoppers'?"

(3) 2013.07.04

  ...of the moment  
RIP Douglas Engelbart. Google "The Mother of All Demos" if you don't know who he is.
Dang, and oy.

My landlords want to sell my apartment. I have first dibs, but it would be a financial stretch.

I have really mixed feelings.

The apartment is great, but really needs two people. I picked it with Amber and have enjoyed having Miller as a housemate after that.

Still, the place is pretty damn expensive... but I love the neighborhood and commute.

My gut instinct says to try and make a go of it, but I'm worried that's more about wanting to have less disruption in my life.

Running some numbers with an online calculator, if I go for a 30 year mortgage and a 15% deposit the rent would be a couple hundred more than I pay now. (heh, of course if I had hopped some months ago, the gap would be much less). I suppose stuff like real estate tax and what not complicates that too.

Also, the 15% deposit would kinda wipe out my nest egg/buffer. I mean I'm still saving for retirement, but I think things would feel more fraught in general.

It gets me into what do i want to do with my life territory.

Like, right now I don't want to ditch Miller, and it's a nicer place than either of us would have on our own, and he generally has fewer options than me. On the other hand, being generous to a housemate is a suspect reason for making a big financial decision, and maybe it's just kicking the problem down the road anyway; like if I want to have some romantic type person move in with me, or even though it's a little remote at this point, start a family; woud it be easier to take the hit now when it's the landlord forcing the issue than say "alright, I need you out of here".

Also, I guess I really kind of do hate moving.
I moved out of Waltham to be closer to the city,
out of Inman to be in a big shared house with Mo (that semi-communal house being one of my favorite living arrangements, frankly)
out of the Big Yellow House because Mo wanted that, and it seemed grown up
out of the cracker jack box apartment because it was ridiculous
out of watertown apartment to own a damn house
out of the damn house because of the divorce
out of the apartment with miller to be with my aunt and uncle
out of my aunt and uncle's to live with amber

Only a few of those were really because of factors internal to me, and it's always easier to orchestrate a move when you have a partner.

Yesterday I made a note about what I'd need to research/pontificate on to reach a decision:
how to figure out house
1 JP and Arlington rents
2 likely mortgage
3 endgame with miller
4 likely futures of romantic bliss

So far I think I've figured out "2" and that's it.

I hate how my life a year ago seems a lot closer to what I wanted out of life than right now, on multiple fronts.

Thoughts and ideas welcome.

over 400 bucks of good old NH fireworks- 2 for 1 - #gonnabeagoodnight

Monday evening, the full moon was crazy-beautiful over the Atlantic...

Because it was still almost daylight, I could really make out the details of the moon. I tried to fiddle with my camera to do likewise, but my best efforts made the surrounding sky really dark...

Man, that doesn't look much like a Man on the Moon. I think the French say it's a cat... I could kind of see that, curled around.

  ...of the moment  
"A fetish is a story masquerading as an object."
--Robert Stoller

(2) heartworks
To view this content, you need to install Java from
heartworks - source - built with processing
To celebrate the Fourth of July on the Love Blender I made this little java program... watch and enjoy or click to make your own fireworks

  ...of the moment  
"why, he was so sentimental, he could miss the broad side of a barn!"

captain kirk wishes you a very happy 4th of july

  ...of the moment  
"dont understan the world, if up is north how come u drive that way n not hit the sun. i need to get me a compast."
--Alisha on
A Half-Hearted Defense of the "Star Wars" Prequels
Man, kind of a bummer to think that 2010, already a year that looks weirdly futuristic when written out, is half over!

July 4th Blender of Love digest is here!

Having 4th of July in this year, but pretty hopeful about Boston Pops Fireworks in HD with a big projector and Amber...

(1) the stars and stripes 'til sunday
To view this content, you need to install Java from
starsstripes - source - built with processing

click and hold the mouse for a sparkler! happy fourth of july!

(3) kirkjerkfirewerk

To view this content, you need to install Java from
kirkjerkfirewerk - source - built with processing

Just a little something I banged together for the fourth (that's supposed to be a 4 if it's not obvious...) You can either admire the 4s or use the mouse to draw and use it like a sparkler...

Happy Fourth of July!

  ...of the moment  
Why do almost all fans have their highest power setting right next to off?
Apple's consistency hobgoblins: "People use mice, not keyboards, for checkboxes" thus iPhone Form "Next" skips checks but does dropdowns.
EB's charcoal grill reminds me "the 3 things you can gaze at four hours: fire burning, water flowing, other people working."
thought: if you're gonna have a truck to haul your little league team around in, is "I shot the sherrif" the best music choice for the 4th?

(2) wedding in chicago

Congratulations Lex and Michi!

(17) let's make a deal
Boingboing linked to a new free eBook on probability... in their writeup, the mention the Monty Hall problem. 3 doors... goats are behind 2 of them, and a new car behind the third. The player picks a door. Monty then opens one of the doors, revealing a goat. Should the player switch doors? (Assume an equal chance for the 3 doors to hold a car, and that Monty will pick one of the 2 goat doors at random if the player has already picked the car.)

The article mentioned that Marilyn vos Savant "encouraged her readers to simulate the game and draw their own conclusions"... Well, here's a simulation! You can modify the speed to run lots of simulations, "Wargames"-finale style. You can select always switch, never switch, or some probability of switching.



1 in 3


2 in 3







(5) chicago photos - random
Some very random photos from a recent trip to Chicago:

Chicago doesn't wait for the 4th to have fireworks:

Carousel at the Navy Pier:

Finally, a billboard from a "coming soon" storefront at that big Woodfield Mall in Schaumberg:

Why is it here? Well...I've never liked cursive letters much. It's always so awkward, how every letter is supposed to end in a way that the next one can pick up without a break. And 'z' is one of the worst. It's like some guy was assigned the task of coming up with uppercase and lowercase cursive letters for the whole alphabet, had some that came out ok, a few flops (like G and Q especially) and is THIS close to being left to go...z...'gah, I have no idea,' he thinks, 'whatever....a little squiggle, a twist, a loop....DONE! I'm calling it a day.'

(3) in the land of cleves (backlog flush #48)
  • "There goes the good time that was had by all."
    --Bette Davis, remarking on a passing starlet...
  • September 12th...a software "toy world", a somewhat heavy handed but interesting interactive political cartoon about the futility of fighting terrorism with cruise missiles...
  • Free Duel, Oh This Hot Seat Of Ours, a review of some old multiplayer games.
  • The Evolution of Alphabets.
  • Evocative SPAM filler:
    constitution to certain specific 
    relations and interests. The obtaining 
    for us this information, and to Mr. Ralph 
    Richardson for kindly the poetical names 
    of Flower of Blood, and Froth of Blood, 
    Also, odd Subject: buried inside a SPAM fake bounced email message: Nude_young boys_from_polar_bears_land. Strange world.

(3) go fourth and multiply
Curse you, RCN, for taking away my internet access this Fourth of July! More later. Phew, finally back... more in a bit.

Man, few things irritate me so much as a loss of 'Net connectivity at home. It strikes both my "technical things should just work" nerve as well as the frustration of losing access with the outside world. I mean, I had to dial "411" today from home, for cryin' out loud.

Ramble and Article of the Moment
I have so few celbratory plans today it's a little pathetic. Maybe I should hunt up a nice municiple display, or maybe I should brave going down to Cambridge for the big show? I dunno. But had a piece on the military using 'virtual world' games to help figure the social dynamics of places like Iraq. So (though it's just a turn based wargame and not an online virtual world) by playing by new gameboy game Advanced Wars 2 I figure I'm doing my Fourthly patriotic duty.

Quote of the Moment
"The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do."
--McCloctnik the Lucid

(1) go fourth
Go fourth and celebrate! Hope everyone has a happy and safe one...

Games of the Moment
Chronic Logic has two "real physics" games for download: "Triptych" (shown) is a variation on the Tetris-esque match the colors game, but with blocks that jiggle and rebound and have regular and rotational intertia. They also have "Pontifex", a difficult game where you try to build a bridge across various chasms, tough enough to survive 4 train crossings. I'm a pretty bad bridge maker, but it's pretty amusing watching those trains go in the drink. These games might require fairly high powered computers, I'm not sure.

Quote of the Moment
"If you ask me, this country could do with a little less motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans. I'm not sure that motivation is always a good thing. You show me a lazy prick lying in bed all day watching TV, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble."
--George Carlin

(7) honeymoon filler day 3
Dialogue of Soul & Stone

I was talking to a rock
and I said, "Stone"-
I talk to them like that-I said,
"what makes people feel extraneous?"

To which the rock in its own idiom
replied, "Extraneous's ass!
You think you got it bad.
Try igneous extrusion.
Try a little freeze and thaw.
Try glaciation.
Stand out in the weather for ten thousand years.
We'll talk extraneous."

One thing about rocks:
they cut you half an inch of slack
but never. That's why guys like me
idealize them. I said, "Sage"-
I laid it on a little thick,
this rock I'm talking to,
it's not much bigger than a Chiclet,
but I don't want to give offense-
so I said, "Sage, what
should the human species do?"

To which the rock said nothing,
but he got that look. You know:
they're thinking to themselves,
"Drop dead."
--Brooks Haxton

KHftCEA 1997-07.1 July KHftCEA 1998-07.1 July

KHftCEA 1998-07.1 July

i seem to be constantly reminded that everything is temporary.

the older i get, the more this bothers me.
Why is ice-cream-on-a-stick so much better when it's in the shape of a cartoon head?
KHftCEA 1997-07.1 July

Roadtrip to Grove:
Weird memory copying harddrives at night w/ Lena-getting up when my batchfile beeped, half awake, trying not to disturb Lena...  

Driving thru sturbridge makes me think of Rebekah and her grandmother and trips she takes with Derrick- somehow relieved her and Joan are moving closer, and not her and him.
Sometimes I think that I play the role of Rebekah's white knight, rescuing her from relationships gone stale.  So maybe asking her why we don't work brings us into Gödel number territory.

Lena gave me 3 reasons why she was upset after I told her that I wouldn't tell her a story because I only make stories for people I'm trying
to seduce: 1.she's not getting any stories 2. I only tell stories to people I'm trying to seduce 3. I'm not trying to seduce her

near "Cheesequake" in NJ: (what a name for a dessert or café) 'let's be lovers/for tonight' sings Dave Matthew's Band but right now I wish mostly for a hand to hold, fingers interlocking perfectly.

driving past the ocean grove tacobell where I've shared a burrito with Veronika- nostalgia strikes- but has it been that long since I've been here?
standing at night in the atlantic writing this

< retrospect: 4 jul >